灾难大片2012十大啼笑皆非片段精选

1. Rejoicing after Billions of Deaths 悲极生乐
当你深爱之人丧生滚滚岩浆或者超级大海啸，接着应该干嘛？欢天喜地庆祝大会！至少《2012》里头那些角色是这样的啦，虽说他们的确挽救了人类的种族得以延续，但是俩半小时灭顶之灾整得全世界99%的人类都不能幸免的情况下，这个过于温馨的大团圆结局是在不能算是太和谐哇。

When almost every single person you are close to dies in a fiery blaze or drowns in a massive tsunami, what would you do? Celebrate! At least that is what the array of characters in 2012 do. Sure, they end up saving humanity, but after over 2 hours and 30 minutes of complete destruction of every national landmark and 99% of all human beings it’s damn near impossible to connect with their unabashed joy.
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2. Last Second Escapes 所有的千钧一发
灾难片嘛，永远是同时间赛跑，狂奔啦，飙车啦，灰机啦等等。《2012》的逃亡戏做得那叫一个紧张刺激，主人公一家人登上飞机起飞之后就看着整座洛城塌陷成人间地狱，这个场面啊~~~迟早是要成为经典的。其它的也不赖，灰机在倒塌的楼房之间穿梭、逃离火山灰的追逐。好多好多的尖叫哦，观众的情绪也都被调动了起来。

Although the film is basically strung together with these desperate escapes, there are a few notable ones. The first, as Cusack and his family are on board a plane that is mere seconds away from collapsing into the abyss, sets the bar. The rest live up to that bar as planes dodge in between buildings, out of dust clouds and over ledges. There are more “AAAAHHHHH’s” and “NO NO NO NO NO’s!” then all of Bay’s films combined and I think Emmerich deserves something for that.
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3. “It’s Russian” 咱俄罗斯造滴！
历来好莱坞大片中的俄罗斯人总是很爆笑的，《2012》里这位更是出众，不少引得全场哄堂大笑的段落都是因他而来。即使最后将他那俩讨人厌的小孩扔上甲板自己坠入深渊的时候，感动之余还是觉得有点好笑来着。

The Russian characters in the film prove to be hilarious, but nothing comes close to the demise of Yuri, the leader of the pack. In a slow motion scene screaming with emotion, Yuri throws one of his annoying children up on a bridge to be saved as he falls to his demise. It’s the most “LOL”-worthy scene of the year.
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4. Gymnastic Dog 平衡木狗狗！
2012年奥运会可以添加狗狗进入到体操项目不？115分钟的《2012》里头，那只京巴沿袭了《独立日》的传统，把动物的顽强求生演绎得淋漓精致。

I know the Winter Olympics are coming up, but I hope they can reserve a spot on the 2012 Summer Olympic gymnastic squad for the acrobatic dog in the film. As if you haven’t had enough already, around the 2 hour and 15 minute mark, you witness only a spectacle Emmerich could pull off that is reminiscent of another dog sequence in Independence Day.
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5. Danny Glover as President 让Danny Glover演美国总统
大家每次看到Danny Glover都希望是摩根·弗里曼来取代他。Glover忒一本正经了，反倒整得台词有点小搞笑。他的那些个台词写得真不咋地，应该找给奥巴马写演讲稿的人来写，不过人家可能要收好多……好多酬金。

Every time Danny Glover is on screen one can’t help but wonder how bad everyone wanted Morgan Freeman instead. Glover is so damn serious and noble as he delivers every line that it makes for some pure hilarity. The script he is given is so bad that we wonder if they couldn’t have just hired Obama’s speechwriters as part of the $250 million dollars budget.
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6. Arnold Impersonation 拿阿诺州长开玩笑
一开始还没反应过来说“州长说最坏的已经过去了”这是哪个州长，接着男主角咆哮着“州长是演员！他读台词儿呢！他跟你说没事儿，你就该逃命了~~”这才想到，哈，加州州长，阿诺·施瓦辛格呀……囧“终结者”跟你说没事儿，是该逃了。

If you thought the terrible Arnold impersonation was bad, you are in for a treat as it is slightly extended and feeding the film with hilarious lines like “He’s just an actor! He’s reading a script!”
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7. Last Minute Calls To Loved Ones 人之将死……
电影里惯用的俗套剧情，就是人之将死，电话诉衷肠。这档子事儿在《2012》里发生的几率那可真叫一个高啊！从美国总统致电第一女儿，到印度一家人致电生平好友，再到挺莫名的没足够发展空间的游轮乐手未能通畅的电话，这堆强扭的电话居然在全世界震成那样儿的时候还都能打通嘿！奇迹~~~

You know those scenes where a character plasters their previously subdued emotions all over the screen right before they die? That happens to pretty much every character in 2012. Whether it is the president’s call to his daughter, an Indian family calling their friend (Ejiofor), Oliver Platt’s call to his mother or two underdeveloped jazz players reaching out to lost connections, there is enough palpable forced emotion in the film to satisfy the rest of Emmerich’s career.
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8. Plot Holes Galore 电影就是巧合她妈生的
主人公总是能在他脚下那块地儿塌陷之前逃出生天；荒僻的山区里头走着走着就能遇上善良的藏民；整容医生在不同情况下会开不同型号的飞机；小黑男主角恰恰就很葱白小白男主角来着。反正这家人吧，rp值实在太高了！

One may think Star Trek has little similarities with 2012 but in a latter scene where John Cusack’s group crash lands and is within walking distance of a group of Tibetan characters is eerily similar to a meet-up between Captain Kirk and Spock in Abram’s summer blockbuster. Other disturbances in plot range from a plastic surgeon being able to fly two different types of planes through impossible situations and Chiwetel Ejiofor’s character knowing all about Cusack during their first meet-up. I don’t want to give them all up as it becomes quite a fun game picking out your favorites while you enjoy the film.
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9. Cracks of Perfection 裂得刚刚好
全世界大爆炸还不够哦，罗兰的完美主义还真离谱。一开始是超市大地震，Amanda和她的男友正在买东西，她男朋友说：“亲耐滴，我觉得有什么东西把我们俩分开了。”接着就真的地裂了，地上的大裂缝直接就从他们俩中间穿过去了。这还不够，回头在梵蒂冈西斯廷大教堂大伙儿在那儿祈祷，屋顶就裂了，裂缝在米开朗基罗名画《创世纪》亚当和上帝未能触及的手指中间穿过。然后小编我就狂心痛啊……

It’s not enough to just blow up the world; Roland Emmerich must do it with precision.  Early in the film massive cracks appear in the San Andreas Fault right underneath a supermarket where Amanda Peet and her new boyfriend, played by Tom McCarthy, are shopping. McCarthy says, “Honey, I feel like there is something pulling us apart,” and moments later the cracks rip in between them. If you think that takes the cake, later in the film a crack rips directly through Adam and God’s extended fingers in Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel painting.
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10. Woody Harrelson 伍迪·哈里森
这位演员今年可谓表现出色，《尸乐园》中杀怪的威风，《信使》里足以得奖的表演，再有独立电影《保卫者》的登场，这回他在《2012》中扮演一位以房车为家，落户黄石国家公园的阴谋理论家，开通自己电台向民众传递世界末日的消息。他在影片中的表演可圈可点，尤其是那一句“下载我博客吧！”顺带一说那个博客上的末世动画做得实在好玩~~

Woody Harrelson has had quite a year, ranging from his quirky crowd-pleasing role in Zombieland to his award-worthy performance in The Messenger to his indie spotlight in Defendor. Then there is 2012. Harrelson does a delightful job of schlocking it up as a conspiracy theorist that lives in a RV camper turned-radio station in Yellowstone National Park. He is one of the few characters that knows exactly what kind of movie he is in as he recites classics such as, “download my blog!”