Ever wonder what you’re supposed to look for when a server pours wine into your glass? Or had a mild panic attack when a clerk in a wine shop asks you what you’re looking for? Even if you know next to zero about wine, you still need to be able to order a glass. In honor of the man behind one of television’s most impressive wine collections — White Collar‘s delightfully highbrow con artist Neal Caffrey — check out our guide to faking your way through your next dinner date, from a few wine words to know to connoisseur-worthy deals. And if you’re talking to a wine snob at your next cocktail party, you may even be able to teach ‘em a thing or two.
Wine Terms to Know
If you want to sound like you know wine, it’s good to have a few terms in your vocab to talk about what you like or don’t like. That California Chardonnay? It’s buttery, creamy, and round. You may even say it’s a little oaky, since it’s been aged in the wood. Prefer a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc? Means you’re more into an acidic, fruity, minerally white that’s a little lighter in body. As for red, an Australian Shiraz is also pretty fruity, even jammy (that big fruit flavor really packs a punch), while a Cabernet Sauvignon from France’s Bordeaux is more tannic, that quality that can make a red wine taste a little rough but gives it the structure it needs over time to smooth out and age. Once you use these words, you may even start to notice trends in the wines you like (fruity, earthy, and did I just get a whiff of chocolate?)
Old World versus New World
Winemaking differences aside (and there are many), the main point of distinction for you when picking up a bottle is whether the appellation or variety is listed on the label. It’s good to know that wine labeling falls into two camps: Old World (mostly Europe) and New World (everywhere else). New World wines are fairly straightforward, listing the grapes (or the one that’s in the majority) right on the label: Cabernet Sauvignon, Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, you get the point. But if you wanna know if it was aged in oak or stainless steel, you may have to read the back label closely to get more information about the style.
Old World wines make you think a little harder. They will list the appellation, not the grape, which means that a little knowledge about that place tells you not only the grape (or grapes) but also the style. A good non-vintage Champagne will be a blend of Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Meunier, and it’ll have aged at least 15 months in bottle, if not longer. Well-known regions you should know? Chablis, an unoaked Chardonnay from northern Burgundy; Sancerre, a minerally Sauvignon Blanc from the Loire Valley; and Chianti, an acidic red wine made of the Sangiovese grape from the Italian region that happens to go great with food.
Quick Label Identification
Unless you’re studying to be a Master Sommelier, you probably don’t need to know every California AVA in the book. But it does help to know a little bit about what you’re looking at when you check out a label. Both Old World and New World wines will list the producer name (Robert Mondavi), vintage (2010), and alcohol by volume percentage (13.5%). The region is listed as well, and it’s a pretty good indicator of the quality level of the wine — the more vague (California) will be a more entry-level wine, while a more specific notation (Napa Valley, Single Vineyard) means the grapes are from a concentrated vineyard area with a higher quality control. As for the grape? See Old World versus New World above.
Do Hold by the Stem
There are a lot of opinions on the temperature at which a red wine versus a white wine should be served. Although it varies by grape and style, whites as a rule are generally chilled, while reds are served a little below room temperature. Especially if you’re in a fancy restaurant or at the home of a wine connoisseur, the way you hold your glass of wine tells a lot about your level of knowledge. How to look like you know what you’re doing? No matter what the wine, hold the glass by the stem, instead of gripping the bowl — it keeps the temperature of the wine the way it should be longer. And whatever you do, don’t put ice in your glass, unless it’s filled with water.
No More Nouveau
If you want to play the savvy French wine snob who knows a deal, there are lesser-known regions producing killer wines for a better price than a Chateau Lafite. These wines are some of the best wines for the best price coming from France, and you’ll look like you really have the inside scoop. Like lighter reds? Look for wines from the Beaujolais — no, not the yellow-labeled Nouveau that comes out in November. You want wines from the Crus regions, like Fleurie, Morgon, and Régnié, elegant reds made from the gamay grape, Pinot Noir’s redheaded stepsister. For fresh whites, try Sancerre’s neighboring towns like Quincy, Pouilly-Fumé, and Touraine. They’ll share some of those minerally aspects of the famous Sauvignon Blanc at a more approachable price. Still hankering for that Lafite? The C?tes du Rh?ne region makes gorgeous, rich, full-bodied reds from north to south, from Cornas to Vacqueyras.
Ask a Somm
Ever been confronted by a book rather than a simple wine list? Don’t know what a Txakolí is? Or simply don’t recognize any of the brands on the menu? If you really want to act like you know what you’re doing, then quit pretending and ask an expert. Every restaurant’s sommelier or beverage director intimately knows the wines on their list and can recommend wines at your price point and to your taste (same goes for your local wine shop). All you need to tell them is what you like (Fuller-bodied whites like a California Chardonnay? Cabernet’s your fave?) and what you want to spend (I’d like to keep it in this range — and don’t hesitate to point if you’d rather not say in front of your date). This way, you’ll show yourself to be an adventurous wine-lover, ready to try something new.
But, no, you cannot just send it back if you don’t like it. When in doubt, ask for a taste of something off the by-the-glass menu and then order the bottle if you like it.服务生为你倒酒的时候眼睛该盯哪儿？每次走进葡萄酒行听见店员那句“请问您需要什么”的时候，是不是虎躯一震？即便是你对葡萄酒几乎一无所知，点杯酒的能耐还是得有的。为了向电视上最牛叉的伪高端人士尼尔·凯弗瑞（注：美剧《妙警贼探》男主角，圈内顶尖行骗仿冒高手，精通艺术、历史、珠宝等各个领域）致敬，我们炮制出了这份指南，从简单的红酒专用词汇，到行家里手才知道的门道一应俱全，照着做保你能妥妥地蒙混过下一次晚宴。要是在鸡尾酒会上遇见假内行，没准儿你还能给他们上一课。
几句行话
要想表现得像个行家，谈论个人喜好的时候最好加几句行话。加利福尼亚产的霞多丽？口感醇厚润滑，香浓饱满。你甚至可以再补上一句有淡淡的橡木清香，因为葡萄藤蔓长年缠绕在橡木架上。更喜欢新西兰产的白苏维农？那你是更喜欢度数低些的白葡萄酒，口感偏酸，果香浓郁，富有矿石气息。至于说红葡萄酒，澳大利亚产的设拉子很不错，甚至有果酱般浓厚的口感（浓郁的果味确实很有冲击力），而法国波尔多产的赤霞珠则单宁成分更高，入口虽然发涩，却使得红酒口味更富层次感，经过岁月陈酿产生细腻风韵。一旦用上了这些词，你可能会发现自己之前喜欢的葡萄酒都变洋气了（又是果香又是醇厚，我刚才闻到的是巧克力味吗？）
旧世界VS新世界
暂且不提种类繁多的酿酒工艺，挑选葡萄酒的主要区别就在于瓶身标签上是否标明了名目种类。酒瓶标签有两大类：旧世界（主要为欧洲）和新世界（欧洲外的其它地区）。新世界酒瓶标签直截了当，葡萄品种（混酿酒则为主要酿造品种）名称清晰可见：赤霞珠、霞多丽亦或是白苏维农。如果你想进一步了解选酿的葡萄是在橡木还是不锈钢支架上培育的，就要仔细阅读瓶身背面的说明了。
旧世界系列则需要费一番脑筋，瓶身标签上只会标注红酒名目，而不会注明葡萄品种，这就需要点关于产地的知识才能了解葡萄品种和风味。优质的无年份香槟是霞多丽、黑皮诺和莫尼耶皮诺的混酿，并且瓶装窖藏至少十五个月以上。著名的葡萄原产地你也得知道几个，比如法国勃艮第北部的夏布利，盛产非橡木陈酿的霞多丽葡萄；卢瓦尔河谷的桑塞尔，盛产富有矿石气息的白苏维农葡萄；意大利的基安蒂，出产桑娇维赛葡萄，可酿造口味偏酸的红酒，搭配食物口味极佳。
快速识别标签
除非你要当专业侍酒师，不然你不用把加利福尼亚所有的葡萄酒产区都背下来。不过想要从标签上了解点什么，知道一些相关知识总是有用的。旧世界葡萄酒和新世界葡萄酒都会标明生产商（如蒙大菲酒庄）、年份（如2010年）以及酒精含量（如13.5%）。标签上也会注明产地，这是衡量葡萄酒品质的重要因素，入门级的葡萄酒一般产地都比较含糊，比如只是泛泛地说加利福尼亚，而诸如纳帕山谷单一葡萄园这样详细具体的产地，则表明葡萄产自高度集中的葡萄园，质量把关更加严格。至于葡萄品种请参见新世界VS旧世界中的介绍。
怎样握杯
大家对于红葡萄酒和白葡萄酒的最佳饮用温度众说纷纭。尽管具体情况根据葡萄品种和风味会有所变化，但大致来说白葡萄酒需要冰镇，红葡萄酒只需稍稍低于室温即可。而如果你是在高级餐厅用餐，或是拜访品酒行家，那么只需看一眼你拿高脚杯的方法，就能知道你是菜鸟还是内行。怎么能看着不像菜鸟？记住，不管喝的是什么酒，都要拿酒杯的杯脚，而不能握上面的杯体部分，这样才能让葡萄酒原本的温度保持得更久。千万不要往高脚杯里加冰块，除非杯里盛的是水。
搞定暴发户
有些葡萄酒产地相对比较冷门，但是出产的葡萄酒质量上乘，价格不菲，比沙都拉菲还贵，正好可以用来捉弄一下那些肚子里有点货就附庸风雅的法国假内行。这些葡萄酒都产自法国，质量和价格都无与伦比，这么一来你就显得颇有专业水准了。喜欢酒精含量低些的红葡萄酒？法国博若莱产的就不错，不过我说的可不是十一月份才出来的黄标新酿。想要优等产区的葡萄酒？富勒丽干红、莫尔贡干红还有黑尼耶干红都是优雅的选择，用的是黑皮诺同父异母的小妹妹，红色皮肤的佳美葡萄。喜欢清新的白葡萄酒？试试桑塞尔周边地区的葡萄酒吧，比如昆西、布衣-富美和都兰。这几款酒同大名鼎鼎的白苏维农葡萄酒一样，都有矿物香气，只是价格更平易近人。还是想来一瓶拉菲葡萄酒？罗纳河谷地区南至科尔纳斯，北到瓦给拉斯，都出产品质不凡、醇厚饱满的红葡萄酒。
请教侍酒师
点酒水的时候发现餐厅的酒水单是一大厚本而不是一张纸？没听说过恰科里白葡萄酒？要么干脆酒水单上的牌子一个都不认识？如果你真的有自知之明，就别装十三了，问问懂行的人。每家餐厅的侍酒师或酒水经理都对菜单上的每一款葡萄酒了如指掌，他们可以根据你的喜好和消费水平推荐合适的选择（有时还得看当地的葡萄酒供应商）。你只需要告诉他们你的喜好（像加利福尼亚的霞多丽那样味道更浓郁的白葡萄酒怎么样？还是说你喜欢红葡萄酒？）以及消费水平（只需要说“我想要这种价位的葡萄酒”就可以了，如果约会对象在场不方便明说，不要犹豫，给他们在酒水单上指出来就可以了）。这样一来，你看起来就像个敢于冒险的葡萄酒爱好者，总是对新口味跃跃欲试。
一旦点了单，不喜欢是不能退货的。如果拿不准主意，可以询问是否供应酒水单以外的品牌，然后点你喜欢的就可以了
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