本人是非护理专业本科毕业，现已工作，想去澳洲读护理，已拿到弗林德斯大学护理本科的offer，也已交了部分学费拿到COE了，现在准备递签，中介给我改了PS，但我觉得好像很危险啊，会被拒签！希望有和我相同经历并成功办理签证或者经验丰富的签证老师帮我看看这份PS有什么问题。十分感谢！！
My name is *** and I was born on ***xx. As an undergraduatecompleting the four-year education in the major of Advertisement at ***xx fromSeptember 2009 to June 2013, I am currently seeking the admission to Bachelor of Nursing (Graduate Entry) inthe Flinders University. I have been working as an Assistant Officer in the Learningand Development Department of ***x since obtaining the bachelor’s degree. Myresponsibilities are to operate regular training of knowledge and skills fordifferent departments. While most of my friends and relatives believe I have ajob with stable promotion and salary, there is another voice inside that hasbeen unbreakable and unchangeable for more than five years. It is thedetermination to become a nurse to make contributions for my family and for thesociety. The initial motivation derived from the shocking news thatfather was diagnosed as stomach cancer in February 2009. The whole family wasdepressed at this, especially father himself. However, when spending two monthsafter the National College Entrance Examinations in the hospital, and takingcare of father, I found that he did not feel great uncomfortable at takingchemotherapy and he was optimistic. This “abnormal” situation gave birth to measking why. And father responded with his gratefulness to his charge nurse.Knowing father’s depression at the diagnosis, the senior nurse decided toinfuse normal saline before chemotherapy each time to relieve his nervousness. Andshe also kindly encouraged father not to be defeated by his own fear. Accordingto the charge nurse, fear, instead of the disease itself, is, in most cases,the real killer that leads patient to lose the battle with the disease. The nurse understood father’s fear and, in another way,helped him conquer it. In the meanwhile, another doctor’s words wereimpressive. He revealed an issue that currently more attentions were being paidto the professional skills. But it is true that mental caring weighs equally tophysical treatment. Patients in fact need such kind of mental caring to assistthem to find the faith that they would eventually overcome the disease. Theirwords were so inspiring that made me realize the importance of nursing. I am ina single-child family. It is my responsibility to take great care of myparents. I look forward to more nursing knowledge and techniques to do thisjob. Moreover, I am aware of the increasing need of talents innursing industry. For example, in terms of the internationalization ofShanghai, we have seen the fact that more and more foreigners settle in thiscity, which promotes the operation of a department that is providing servicesfor these new immigrants. Such hospitals as United Family Healthcare areestablished to meet the need. Job opportunities follow with excellent salaries. The personal experience and the industry background haveurged me to pursue specialized theories and skills on a higher-level stage. AndI deem Flinders University is offering this ideal platform for me. Located inthe south of Australia, the University enjoys comfortable climate as well asacademic environment and facilities. More specifically, Flinders University isamong the institutions that have set up the nursing program early in thehistory. It has developed advanced education pattern, like interactive studyand face-to-face lecture, plus with hi-tech laboratory for students. FlindersUniversity is offering free English learning software for internationalstudents and internship arrangements. These courses and working experienceswill allow me to adapt myself into the foreign nursing area. Last but notleast, Flinders University recognizes some of my credits so that I can take oneyear less than the regular program requires. With all these advantages above, Iam confident in Flinders being the unique university I am looking for. Andbeing educated here will be definitely regarded as a turning point of my life. At my decision, my parents agree and would financiallysupport my study. They always expect me to be a contribute person. I am on theway. When I graduate from the university, I will come back to China and work asa nurse. Skills being honed, I will have powerful impetus that will drive me tothe ultimate career goal that is to nurse more people and my family. I hope you could kindly offer me an opportunity to study inAustralia. Thank you. |
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