SAT写作满分范文鉴赏(1) ,作文题目选自SAT OG官方指南
SAT写作满分范文鉴赏(1) 作文题目选自SAT官方指南 Practice Test 1
romptThink carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and assignment below.
To change is to risk something, making us feel insecure. Not tochange is a bigger risk, though we seldom feel that way. There is nochoice but to change. People, however, cannot be motivated to changefrom the outside. All of our motivation comes from within.
Adapted from Ward Sybouts,Planning in School Administration:A Handbook
Assignment
What motivates people to change? Plan and write an essay in whichyou develop your point of view on this issue. Support your positionwith reasoning and examples taken from you reading,studies, experience,or observations.
SAMPLE ESSAY- 6分范文
What motivates people to change is a relentless and innate desirefor self-improvement. Rarely ever has history seen a man or societykick back, relax, and say “Well that about does it. Not much else to dohere!” Within every person is the potential to achieve greatness insome form; be it athletically, mentally, spiritually. This inherentpotential demands that people continue to explore and change both theirenvironments and themselves throughout their life’s course. Nevershould a man be idle for too long. After acknowledging the changes aman has already made to his environment, the pursuit ofself-improvement will once again stir within his soul and call him toaction. This internal desire, this pursuit of challenge and perfection,does not prohibit man from being happy with his status andachievements. On the contrary, the device serves more to allow the manto constantly strive for greater change, newer innovation. Whatmotivates people to change is the ongoing need to redefine people’slives and identities –to elevate them to higher levels of eminence andsucess.
A good example of this can be seen in clinical psychology. Whenpatients seek therapy for difficulties that have encumbered their dailyfunctioning, they most often arrive for treatment voluntarily andwillingly- they consciously accept the necessity of therapy and soparticipate without any duress. During the course of clinical therapy,the patient’s concerns, anxieties, ideas, emotions, and fears arebrought to light. However, the clinician does not try to alter thebeliefs, feeling, and sentiments of his client; rather, he simplyilluminates them in order to provide the patient with an accurate viewof himself. The process, of raising concerns and ideas to the surfaceof conscious awareness, is known as clarification. Modern psychology isa far throw from the psychoanalysis of Freud’s time, in whichpsychologists attempted to “interpret” pre-and unconscious feelingsthat had been repressed by the patient. Because clinicians onlyclarify, and not dissect, alter, or interpret a client’s inner desiresand emotions, the client himself is responsible for instituting change.If he is to change, he must dictate the course of therapy, and make theconscious choice to improve himself. This widely used approach iscalled “client centered therapy.” If the client’s ennui or ill feelingsare due to situational factors or internal designs (as oppose tobiological changes that would qualify for a diagnosis ofpsychopathology (mental disorder)), he must change them on his ownaccord to precipitate change within himself. The therapist will not“cure” him in any way. He alone must answer the call within himself torefine and redefine his identity and place in society. This need, ofself-improvement, also initially brought him to the therapist. He wasable to recognize the disorder of his environment and acknowledge hisown negative feelings. This in turn brought him to therapy, where hewas guided through a process of introspection that ultimately enabledhim to improve himself, assuage his anxieties, and rightfully continueon his lifelong pursuit of even greater achievements.
Score Explanation 6分原因与点评
This outstanding essay effectively and insightfully develops thepoint of view that “What motivates people to change is the ongoing needto redefine people’s lives and identities – to elevate them to higherlevels of eminence and sucess.” The writer demonstrates outstandingcritical thinking by clearly focusing on “client centered therapy” tosupport this position. The writer begins by explaining that “Whenpatients seek therapy for difficulties that have encumbered their dailyfunctioning, they most often arrive for treatment voluntarily andwillingly.” The writer then describes the process of therapy and showshow, if the client “is to change, he must dictate the course oftherapy, and make the conscious choice to improve himself.” The writerconcludes with the idea that therapy is a tool for someone who wishesto change, and while the therapist will not “cure” a client, theintrospection encouraged by the therapist can “refine and redefine” theclient’s “identity and place in society.” The essay is well organized,demonstrating clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas.Throughout the essay, the writer exhibits the skillful use of languageby using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary (“During the course ofclinical therapy, the patient’s concerns, anxieties, ideas, emotions,and fears are brought to light. However, the clinician does not try toalter the beliefs, feelings, and sentiments of his client; rather, hesimply illuminates them in order to provide the patient with anaccurate view of himself. This process, of raising concerns and ideasto the surface of conscious awareness, is known as clarification”).This response demonstrates clear and consistent mastery and receives ascore of 6.
[ 本帖最后由 妙妙花 于 2009-12-8 15:46 编辑 ] |
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