Eg1:范文——
题目:
"Clearly, government has a responsibility to support the arts. However, if that support is going to produce anything of value, government must place no restrictions on the art that is produced. "
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above?
开头:
The speaker argues that government must support the arts but at the same time impose no control over what art is produced. The implicit rationale for government intervention in the arts is that, without it, cultural decline and erosion of our social fabric will result. However, I find no empirical evidence to support this argument, which in any event is unconvincing in light of more persuasive arguments that government should play no part in either supporting or restricting the arts.
Eg2:学生练习 "There is only one definition of success-to be able to spend your life in your own way. "
我的开头:
By success it merely notes that you can live your life whatever as you want and you choose. This life style may help a person realize find the thing of the highest good to him/her and thus lend him/her ultimate satisfaction at all. Therefore, I vitally support this kind definition of success.
2. answer the question:同意还是不同意。
这句话的作用:match读者读了故事之后的预期,同时回答了问题——阐明了“我”的观点!
Eg1:
Hunting for a job late last year, lawyer Gant Redmon stumbled across CareerBuilder, a job database on the Internet. He searched it with no success but was attracted by the site’s “personal search agent”. It’s an interactive feature that lets visitors key in job criteria such as location, title, and salary, then E-mails them when a matching position is posted in the database. Redmon chose the keywords legal, intellectual property, and Washington, D.C. Three weeks later, he got his first notification of an opening. “I struck gold,’ says Redmon, who E-mailed his resume to the employer and won a position as in-house counsel for a company.
Eg2:完整演示 "There is only one definition of success-to be able to spend your life in your own way. "
范文思路:
Bill gates是一个成功的IT精英,他用其独特的观看奥运会的方式向世人展示了其成功和与众不同。他在奥运村旁边租了一个空中四合院,然后和妻子一起,看到了开幕式上五星红旗的升起、奥运火炬的传递、跳水健儿夺冠、拳击冠军带伤上场、奥运圣火的熄灭……
(注意):说到这里,只是把故事讲完了,接下来应该回答两个问题:
1)是成功的定义;
2)是成功的唯一定义(否则“only”如果没有回应我的答案可能受到攻击)
最后两句:
也许对于其他人而言,成功的体现还有不同的considerations,比如:金钱、社会地位、etc
但是对于我而言,这些都不及“按照自己的生活方式生活”重要,进而他们都不足以定义成功,所以,我支持“这是成功的唯一的定义方式”。
Eg2:学生练习
"What education fails to teach us is to see the human community as one. Rather than focus on the unique differences that separate one nation from another, education should focus on the similarities among all people and places on Earth."
Eg:请自己通过下面这段话找出issue是什么
Could the bad old days of economic decline be about to return? Since OPEC agreed to supply-cuts in March, the price of crude oil has jumped to almost $26 a barrel, up from less than $10 last December. This near-tripling of oil prices calls up scary memories of the 1973 oil shock, when prices quadrupled, and 1979-80, when they also almost tripled. Both previous shocks resulted in double-digit inflation and global economic decline. So where are the headlines warning of gloom and doom this time?
Issue:石油涨价是否会导致经济衰退?
可见,这段话是方向清楚的。
Eg:学生练习——请分别用三种开头方式写一遍
"A powerful business leader has far more opportunity to influence the course of a community or a nation than does any government official. " Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above
(我的):
第一种:很好
The author argues that a leader of great ability can affect the operation of a society or a country more widely and deeply. Suppose that in a society filled with this conception, the public will ignore the function and effect of government, then gov’s work will lose support and even be intervered , thus losing proper control of some bad things: free ride, speculation, etc, which cannot be malpulated by business org. Thus, I hold that it is equally important…
第二种:
J, a powerful leader of corp K——the chief client of the estate company P, had less effect on the control of P’s vicious violation of ethic rules: heavy speculation than the intervene of gov. In 1990, the boom of P,
P took advantage of this prime period to induce miracle amount of foreign money to the US and at the same time it charged vitally higher price of its 3rd
office building near the Los Angeles airport, thus spiring the anger of public. Facing this situation, k stopped its relationship with P to punish P, but this won’t have a mearable change on P’s action, while gov improved the tax on their every office building to be sold largely——ultimately, P has to put its price down to the average leve. Therefore, in my opion, gov has a more far-reaching impact on the operation of a community or a nation.
【存在的问题】:
1)第一句:没有说政府的影响多的后果是什么,就只能让读者读出一个现象,但是读不出方向。
我应该在我的文字中明确给出方向是什么。Ie:
如果我支持“gov作用更重要”:就说“政府影响更大则有什么好处”或“企业影响更大有什么坏处”;
如果我支持“企业应该作用更大”:就反之。
而我目前的表述:只有“政府影响更大”,没有“后果如何”,就是事实出来了,观点没有,所以不行!
【修改后】:第一句——
Gov has larger effect on the control of the bad speculation of corp J, an estate company, than J’s chief client K, an medical corp, [url=]thus preventing the flowing of work force and further decline of stock price of J.[LC1]
2)中间的elaboration太长太绕:让人读的烦、容易读不懂,必须改得短且精炼一些。
第三种:
Doesn’t a powerful leader can really affect a course of a nation more widely than the government?
【说明】:
以上3种属于高分的写法,但不是只局限于这3个,有自己认为好的也可以。
在进入II之前,有一点说一下:关于“核心概念”和“概念间关系”的界定——
(1)
原理:要对一个观点发表我的评论(同意或不同意),前提是知道这个观点是什么。而界定的目的就是“搞清楚题目什么”的过程!
(2)
怎么处理:基于1)——
1)
如果题目本身很具体了(注意:具体≠简单,只是说概念的含义精确了不会ambiguous了):就不需要这步,因为没有必要,加上去是画蛇添足,违背了“every word tells”。
比如:
A)"Clearly, government has a responsibility to support the arts. However, if that support is going to produce anything of value, government must place no restrictions on the art that is produced. "
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above?
B)是否同意“当今社会在网上找工作更好”
以上两个就是很具象化的,不需要界定。
2)
题目中存在一些抽象词、且关系不清楚,就需要先界定:在我看来,***是什么意思。
比如:
A)"What education fails to teach us is to see the human community as one. Rather than focus on the unique differences that separate one nation from another, education should focus on the similarities among all people and places on Earth."
【分析】:对“共性”和“个性”应该界定一下
B)"There is only one definition of success-to be able to spend your life in your own way. " 【分析】:对“成功”界定一下。 Q:怎么界定“成功”?因为这题中已经在问“def”了啊?
第二种: 递进式:层层展开——注意一个合理order:比如刚才那个不能说反了 Eg:"Clearly, government has a responsibility to support the arts. However, if that support is going to produce anything of value, government must place no restrictions on the art that is produced. "
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above?
【看范文】:
总观点:不同意。
First, subsidizing the arts is neither a proper nor necessary job for government.
——这句话:weaken了前提“clearly”那句。
Second, government cannot possibly play an evenhanded role as arts patron. ——这句话:承认前提,weaken第二句。
所以,这么看下来,整个逻辑是:
首先,政府就不应该支持。
其次,即使政府应该支持,这个支持也应该是有限制性的。 【注意】:请注意这里的logical order——
如果两个分观点颠倒了顺序就不可以:因为下面那个的内容已经承认“要支持艺术了”,如果放到第一个,后面再来个“不同意支持艺术”,前后矛盾!
学生的作业:
Para2:
Undoubtedly, gov should take responsibility to subside art within limitation, because this can both promote the development of art of proper value and manipulate some side effect in the art’s boom, such as illegal speculation, at the same time. Q:第一句如果是“先承认前提就不要‘within limitation’”,此时怎么处理?
Furthermore, this support will call up public right attitude to the art
On the other hand, if gov provide whatever as the art industry wants, this will evoke the greed of this industry, thus breaking the social order. In other words(不可以放到下一段),……
Besides, unlimited financial aid, such as appropriate and spiritual help, such as …, will weaken the investment on other public construction, such as office building, health care, etc. Q:是否这段太细所以把“on the other hand”的话说完了呢?
As given above, I disagree that gov should provide limited support to art. But(不要!) admittedly, it can also makes a different that gov meet whatever desire of the art industry in a short term: rescuing them from a financial crisis suddenly, recovering public’s confidence to the society and the market, etc. But all these above cannot amount to a greater thing than the side effects as I presented to me.